YOU ARE NEVER LONELY WHEN YOU HAVE CRABS sarcasm-shirt A deadpan black-and-white snapshot: some

A deadpan black-and-white snapshot: some poor soul absolutely wrecked in a hospital bed — oxygen tube

because somebody's got to keep those big birds in line

so it feels as good as the best funny t-shirts should

The vintage fast food aesthetic meets perfectly plausible deniability in one gloriously unhinged design

YOU ARE NEVER LONELY WHEN YOU HAVE CRABS sarcasm-shirt A deadpan black-and-white snapshot: someAbout This Design A vintage woodcut crab reclines in a striped beach chair at golden hour sunglasses on, tropical cocktail raised, the picture of dignified coastal leisure. Bold retro lettering arches overhead: 'YOU ARE NEVER LONELY WHEN YOU HAVE CRABS.' So charming. So wholesome. So plausibly innocent. And then it isn't. Why You'll Love This Shirt It reads clean at the family crab boil and lands filthy the second someone actually reads it. Comfort